Crafting a Stellar College Essay

Drew Carter: [00:00:00] But for probably 15 years, I kept a list of my favorite essays that I read every year, and it was on an Excel spreadsheet, and I kept the student's name so that I could find the essay if I ever wanted to, and I kept the student's school. Then the third column was the topic of the essay. So every year I would have between 10 and 20 favorite essays, and I did this for probably 15 years, so you get a sense of the scale.

Probably if you look at that list, about 10 to 15%. of those best essays that I read over the course of a decade and a half were on the topics that I think the outside world would think. Really mammoth, life changing events that students reflected on in their essays. Surviving a house fire, surviving genocide beating cancer my parents divorced, these really mammoth topics.[00:01:00]

But frankly, that was probably only about 10 to 15 percent of the best essays I read over a decade and a half. That, what that means is that. Gosh, between 80 and 90 percent of the best essays were on much smaller topics.

Jonathan Hughes: Hi folks, and welcome to the MEFA Podcast. My name is Jonathan Hughes, and you just heard from our guest on the show today, our friend Drew Carter. And as you also heard, we're going to be talking about the college essay. That's right. No other part of the college application strikes stress into the lives of students like the college essay.

Drew is going to talk about how you can craft a stellar college essay. How to pick a topic, when to start, who to enlist to help you, and what college admissions officers are looking for. As always, I will be back after the interview for the wrap up, but now let's get started, and at the risk of being redundant, let's let our friend reintroduce himself.[00:02:00]

Drew Carter: I'm Drew Carter, and I work in the admission office here at Holy Cross, which is a small school in Worcester, Massachusetts. I've worked here for about 20 years now, and I'm excited to be here today, particularly to talk about the essay, but maybe on a larger scale any efforts at which we all can work together to reduce student stress and anxiety as it relates to the application process.

Jonathan Hughes: When we talk about stress and anxiety, those are two words that I hear connected with the college essay quite a bit from students. So why don't we just go ahead and I'll pass on the question that I get from students all the time, which is what do I write about? What do colleges want to see from an essay?

Drew Carter: Yeah, and I think that surely is a big [00:03:00] source of stress for students is trying to get into the mind of college admissions officers to figure out what they think we want them to write about. Yeah. And that really does speak to the larger issue here, which is the fact that the admissions world and the admissions application readers are really unknown quantities to unknown entities to high school students.

And that's a challenge because high school students have spent their entire high school career writing essays for a very well known author. They write essays for their English teacher and their history teacher, and they've done this all throughout school, but most importantly in high school. And that teacher that they're writing an essay for, is someone that they get to know very well.

It's someone who explains the assignment, for whom they can have an ability to anticipate their reaction when reading their essay, and might even answer questions for them about the assignment. But when it comes to applying to college they're [00:04:00] not writing for their teachers anymore. They're writing for this mysterious, anonymous admissions reader.

They don't, it's an audience that's unknown. They don't know what that reader is looking for, What that reader thinks is a good essay or not, what that reader wants the topic to be about. The reader doesn't explain the assignment nor answer their questions on the assignment. So it is a completely different exercise than what they've been, students have been doing throughout high school when it comes to writing essays.

And so much of that stress manifests itself with this idea of the freedom that comes. From being able to write on any topic that they want. And while freedom is something to be desired, it can also be paralyzing when it comes to the college application essay. You can write about anything, but that leads to the obvious question what then should I write?

And students and their families and their Supporters spend a lot of time trying to think about what [00:05:00] they think we in the admissions world want them to write about. And the obvious and easiest answer is we don't really care. The topic of the essay, in some ways, is not the key to success when it comes to writing.

to the college application essay. It's much more important for students to be choosing a topic that they want to write about. Not the topic that they think we want them to write about. Not the topic that their older cousin wrote about a few years ago when they got into their college of choice. Not the topic that the, all the message boards say is a surefire fit to get in.

Not the topic that the Facebook ads say you should write about. In the end, the answer, what should I write about? The only person that can really answer that question appropriately is the writer, is the student, is the applicant. Because while any topic can make a fine essay, a student's best essay lies in [00:06:00] the topic that they want to write about, not topics other people think they should write about and not topics that they think is going to be a hit with their audience.

It's the topic we want them to write about is the topic they want to write about. And that is sometimes paralyzing for students all of that freedom, especially when the answer lies within, not externally.

Jonathan Hughes: So bearing that in mind, I think students have the idea. that colleges want the students to write about themselves and what would make them a good candidate to be admitted to this school.

Drew Carter: Certainly the brag essay is incredibly common. And I think you understand the motivation there, right? Because students think this is their one chance at most colleges to have a voice, to convince the admissions reader that they should be admitted. We've talked about Any fans of opera out there will understand this has to be the great aria where the where the male lead wins over the [00:07:00] female lead in the opera.

Any fans of La Boheme will recognize that moment out there. And you understand the motivation there for students, but what they don't Get is that close to half of their file is people bragging about them, right? That teacher recommendation, that counselor recommendation, that employer recommendation, those are, recommend is the root of recommendation.

So those are inherently braggy letters telling colleges why they should, that student should be admitted. So while you certainly understand the motivation there, the colleges aren't looking aren't. Devoid of a reason to admit the student, the point of the essay is to, number one, prove that you can write, and number two, prove that you can write about yourself.

And the yourself piece has to be there because if it wasn't students would just hand us their term paper from US history junior year and say, see, I can write, but we need you to write about yourself, not Henry Ford and something a little more personal. I had to [00:08:00] add a little sort of texture.

But it doesn't have to be everything because the admissions reader already knows where they live, what they've been involved with, what courses they've taken, what grades they've earned, what they've done in their free time. It really is an opportunity for a student to find a topic that they will find meaning or mojo or just fun when writing about.

That is the most important part of choosing an appropriate topic for the college essay.

Jonathan Hughes: There are a series of essay prompts. Given by the common application, which is the application that most students use to apply to colleges with suggested topics. Do most students end up going with those and is it? Might it help a student set themselves apart to not?

Drew Carter: Yeah, let me give a little background and then my opinion about the prompts. I think I see the prompts there as tools for [00:09:00] students to use if and when they are brainstorming about potential topics to write. They're stuck. They're struggling. They're unhappy.

Then those prompts can be read and maybe they help spark an idea. It's not it's different than what they would traditionally do in school. It's not an assignment to be answered. Choose one of these and answer them in essay form. It really is just an aid because the real answer is write whatever essay you want.

And if you're stuck with that, then use these prompts to help yourself get unstuck. I have to say, and this may surprise you, Jonathan, in 20 years, I don't ever remember. thinking about what prompt the student was answering in their essay.

Jonathan Hughes: That does surprise me.

Drew Carter: I have read. Thousands and thousands of essays and I don't think about if they're answering a prompt or what prompt I just read the essay. And I think that is inherently is true across college admissions. [00:10:00] Yeah, we just are reading the essay. So in that way, I think students shouldn't see those prompts as assignments, but more is just brainstorming tools to use if they're really struggling, identifying a topic on their own.

Jonathan Hughes: You said in an earlier conversation that you've read great essays on topics that you would never think would be great essays. Any examples of those stand out recently?

Drew Carter: Yeah. And I say this because a long time, I don't do it anymore, but for probably 15 years, I kept a list of my favorite essays that I read every year.

And it was on an Excel spreadsheet, and I kept the student's name so that I could find the essay if I ever wanted to, and I kept the student's school, because that sometimes would spark a memory of helping me remember the essay. And then the third column was the topic of the essay. So every year I would have between 10 and 20 favorite essays, and I did this for probably 15 years, so you get a sense of the scale here.

And probably, if you look at that list, about 10 to 15 percent [00:11:00] of those best essays that I read over the course of a decade and a half were on the text. Topics that I think the outside world would think really mammoth, life changing events that students reflected on in their essays surviving a house fire, surviving genocide beating cancer my parents divorced, these really mammoth topics, but frankly, that was probably only about 10 to 15 percent of the best essays I read over a decade and a half.

That, what that means is that. Gosh, between 80 and 90 percent of the best essays were on much smaller topics. Now, why I've opened my family's lawn thing that science teacher said to me one day what it felt like to swim in the ocean, how my father is sometimes embarrassing. Now, presented alone, those four topics without an essay, if you said, is it okay to write about this?

You might. Scratch your head a little bit and say, I don't know. But the truth is, it's those [00:12:00] smaller moments that very often produce a better essay because they tend to be topics that students have chosen because they want to write about it, not because they think it's a topic that they're supposed to write.

The one to answer your question, the one I would use most specifically there is what it felt to swim like in the ocean that one day but. A student literally wrote that essay and, it was a larger reflection on finding peace and contentment and happiness. But it, the origin and this topic was swimming in the ocean one day, what it felt like.

And it, was not this grand treatise on why you should be admitted to college, but it was well written. It was insightful and it helped to you. Get to know the applicant a little bit better, and it proved that he could write, and it was memorable enough.

Jonathan Hughes: Now, practically speaking, is there an ideal length to a college essay?

Drew Carter: The maximum word length that the Common Application allows is 650 words. Now, [00:13:00] that is a challenge. It is hard to write a really good essay that is also short, because 650 words is not a lot of words. Particularly I think that a pitfall often is when students take on a very large topic. For, I'll use an example, like my parents divorce.

That's a lot to unpack in 650 words. So my advice, generally, I always say to students, you can write up whatever you want to write about. That being said, if you pick a really large topic, you may need to focus on a smaller moment within that large topic to really accomplish all that you want to accomplish.

You run out of words pretty quickly if 650 is your limit, and it is according to the common application. When would you advise students start working on their essay? I think summer is a great time to start to think about topics. And maybe, I know I'm setting the bar high here, maybe it's a little [00:14:00] overly ambitious, but maybe to start to scratch out a little draft or two.

And the reason I say that is, I think most students, most applicants, would look back on the process and say yeah, the first essay I wrote was not the one I submitted. Or the first draft I wrote had a long ways to go. So in some ways, it's taking a kernel of an idea. It's taking a topic and starting to flush out what it might look like on paper.

And frankly, it's just partly about ripping the band aid off and starting the process. It's starting the clock, getting the timeline going. At which point, eventually, you'll have a completed, finalized essay. And the summer is a great time. Great time for a little bit of exploration because first drafts are often scrapped first topics often remain incomplete and abandoned for a second or a third topic.

So the sooner students can start that process, the [00:15:00] better, especially considering how busy their senior fall will be. Whatever work they can do this summer, whatever they can bank, however many drafts or. Minutes or hours they can bank this summer, the future version of themselves, the September and October version of themselves will be incredibly thankful and the quality will improve on their essay, given the opportunity and the time to reflect given weeks over the span of July and August.

Jonathan Hughes: And speaking of reflections and revisions and whatnot, what resources should students be taking advantage of to help them? And, I'm thinking about parents and things like that, and how can they do that? What's the appropriate role? And the not so appropriate role.

Drew Carter: I think, it's not uncommon for parents to be curious and maybe want to see a copy or a draft and want to help in any way. I don't think parents are a great proofreading [00:16:00] option for the common application essay. And part of that is not, it's not based on their literary skills.

It's just based on the fact that they know that student so well, that they are so close to the time when sometimes having someone a little bit more removed. Is more appropriate. And that's why I think there's lots of proofreaders out there. But the most apt proofreaders with perspective are school counselors and English teachers.

So I usually say listen, as a high school senior, if you have shared your draft of your essay with a school counselor and an English teacher and you've listened to their feedback, you have done quite well to prepare yourself and to submit. Your best effort, a college essay. Now that doesn't mean your older brother, cousin, best friend, and family can't read your essay, but I think the most appropriate feedback would come from a school counselor and or an English teacher.[00:17:00]

Jonathan Hughes: Is there anything that you would avoid that you see students doing a lot? That might not serve them best.

Drew Carter: I'm going to sound like a, an eighth grade English teacher here, but proofreading is important, not just because we want to see great grammar, but there are times there are mistakes that that Microsoft Word or Google Docs doesn't pick up that a reader An after reader would.

So it's not a spelling mistake or a grammar mistake, but it is a mistake of understanding. And sometimes that's without a correctly spelled word, but it's the incorrect one. So obviously correct spelling and another little tricky piece is the formatting. This is often written in Google Docs or in Microsoft Word and then pasted into common app once completed.

It is not uncommon for students to lose all their formatting once they paste the document into Common App. So I'd really encourage students, [00:18:00] once they're pasting the document into a Common App, to make sure they check that PDF preview to see that their paragraph breaks have stayed. Because I'd say probably 10 percent of essays we read are one giant paragraph with no paragraph breaks.

And I am sure that's not what it looked like. In the drafting process, but that formatting was lost in the pasting process. So make sure there's a final check so students can see what their essay would look like on our end. It is not easy to read 650 words without a paragraph break and you don't want to make the job of your admissions reader harder than it is.

Jonathan Hughes: I'm getting the process here, which is start in the summer between your junior and senior year. Give yourself time to revise, pick a topic that you really want to write about that's going to be fun, and [00:19:00] utilize guidance counselors, English teachers, as proofreaders.

Drew Carter: And I've got two quick things to add, Jonathan.

One is an anecdote, and the final is the final perspective on that. And this anecdote is a real life story, and I tell this story occasionally to give life to the advice I give. So this is maybe about six or seven years ago. I was, it was in the fall and I was visiting high schools talking with students, talking about Holy Cross.

And I was at a public high school in Massachusetts. And I just talked to a group of high school seniors about Holy Cross. And we'd spent time talking about the application process. My visit was finished and I was leaving, I was walking out of the door of the high school and one of the students from my visit grabbed me by the door and she said, It's okay if I ask you a question, I just didn't want to ask in front of the group.

And I said, Sure, absolutely. We're standing in the sort of the foyer of our high school. And she said I have two rough drafts of two different essays. I'm just not sure which one I want to go forward with and send to colleges. I said, Oh, great. I really like that approach. Why don't you tell me [00:20:00] about it?

And she said my first one, I don't know, it's weird, but I have two older sisters. And every summer when they were in high school, they had jobs as waitresses at the same exact restaurant. And when it timely, finally came time for me this past summer to get that job, I got that job because gosh, my sisters, I think my sisters are the coolest people around and I wanted to be like them.

So I got a job at the same restaurant, but the problem was the owners of the restaurant wouldn't let me serve customers because I didn't have any experience. So they made me take the worst jobs. I had to sweep the floor and clean the bathroom and answer the phone and take out the trash. But finally, on my last night of the summer job, the owners finally let me serve customers as a little bit of a reward.

I was having the best time serving customers. All the other servers were being so supportive and it was so great until I spilled an entire tray of drinks.[00:21:00]

And then she said my second essay is about this community service thing I did. Jonathan, I'll ask you, which of those essays do you want to read? The first one. Of course. I'll ask you a second question. Which of those essays are you convinced her parents told her she had to go to college? The second one.

Because they thought no, don't talk about this moment of a mistake. You need to take this opportunity to brag about yourself. And I'll tell you what I told the student in the moment. I said, both topics sound appropriate for a college essay. And I said, and in case you or your family is worried that we're not going to know about that community service project, we will see it.

On your list of extracurricular activities, we're likely to read about it in your guidance counselor recommendation. And perhaps that's something you may even talk about in an interview at schools that offer interviews and we certainly do it across. So it's not our only opportunity. And I said, I also [00:22:00] want to say that hearing you talk about that first essay suggests to me that you found something when writing it.

And it might have just been a little humility. It might have just been a little bit of fun and a little bit of a laugh given some distance from that event. I would love to say I walked away and I read this student's application, months later and saw that she took my advice and I'm not sure which essay she sent it because I under, I understand the pressures of family members and that need to brag about yourself.

But you and I both know we both want to read that first essay and I think that essay can be a really complimentary essay, right? I see lessons there in, in humility and hard work and perseverance. And perspective I see a great topic there, but what I really saw was her, the vivid ways in which she talked about it.

So that, that's an anecdote. I think I hope when students, if they have multiple topics, they will remember that example because I think they all wanted to read the first essay as well. My last [00:23:00] sort of piece of advice and perspective about the essay is this, it is worthy of students attention. It is worthy of hard work.

It is worthy of some discernment. But it is not worth of the level of stress and anxiety that it so often creates because while it does play a role in the college application process. The weight that it carries is not as big as most people think in the outside world. It's not, is not likely to make or break admissions chances.

It just is a piece of the puzzle. And it gets a lot of attention because students have absolute control over it. But it's not more important than the grades and the courses they've taken. It's not more important than the work they've done for four years. So it's worthy of attention, but not worthy of anxiety.

So I hope students will see this as a, possibly [00:24:00] a fun process, or at least one that, that has some reflection to it, that they could appreciate and put forth their best effort without becoming overwhelmed with stress and anxiety.

Jonathan Hughes: The other question I have AI and ChatGPT. And I know that there's a lot of ink that's been spilled about how this is going to spell doom for the college essay.

And but I remember you saying you as an admissions officer who reads thousands of essays. 17 year olds. It's remember you had an analogy about a mechanic.

Drew Carter: Oh yeah. Volvo and the Honda.

Jonathan Hughes: Somebody who only works on Volvos. You know a Volvo engine when you see one, Volvo parts when you see one, you know a 17 year old's work when you see one. Anything changed on that score at all?

Drew Carter: Yeah, there's, we've been asked this question a lot over the last couple of years. Two or three years and outside influence in the college application. Essay is not a new thing. There were [00:25:00] parents. There were older siblings that were cousins.

Then when the Internet came along all of a sudden that treated this worry. Students will be able to find essays online. And AI is just another thing in the toolbox that students could use. I have a few things to say. Number one have not seen a lot of AI essays that I would be impressed by, especially when it comes to personal reflections.

So I'm not sure the student would want to use a I. That's number one. Number two, it is. I'm going to give my lofty answer than my realistic answer. Number two, the lofty perspective. I hope students see this just as an opportunity to write something at a moment in their lives, right? They're getting ready to leave high school, embark on their sort of a JV version of their adult life in college.

It's a chance to. Write 650 words, whether it's [00:26:00] on a big topic or not, it's an opportunity for them. And I think, Using too much outside influence, whether it's parents or friends or the internet or AI, it robs you of that opportunity. And then again, just to speak to your quote of me from years before, this is something that admission, the admissions world is pretty good at discerning and identifying the authentic.

And left alone, With just given essays, maybe not, maybe it'd be more difficult, but with all the supporting documents we have, grades, courses, sometimes standardized testing, and short snippets of writing, and supplemental essays, and list of extracurricular activities, and we have all this other supporting documentation that gives you a sense of what the level of writing should be, what that student's voice may sound like.

And I just have not seen I have not seen a world in which the student voice isn't exactly what the admissions world is looking for and the appropriate [00:27:00] student voice. So I encourage students to find their voice in the essay because A. I. is not necessarily an improvement and And it introduces a level of risk that I just certainly don't think is worth it.

Jonathan Hughes: Do you have anything else you want to say before we go?

Drew Carter: Again, I'll just say find your voice with this essay. Find a an opportunity to write about what you want to write about. And remember that, if you have fun writing it, we'll have fun reading it.

Jonathan Hughes: All right, Drew. Thank you so much.

Drew Carter: Thanks, Jonathan.

Jonathan Hughes: Thank you, Drew. Great. As always, I want to thank our busy guest for making time for us and sharing his invaluable experience with everyone. And folks, if you liked what you heard on the [00:28:00] show today and you want to hear more from us on planning, saving, and paying for college and career readiness, then you can follow the show and you can do that wherever you get your podcasts.

And please remember to leave us a review. It helps us keep doing what we're doing and getting this show out to folks like you. I want to thank our producers, Shaun Connolly. I'd like to thank A. J. Yee, Lisa Rooney, Lauren Danz, and Meredith Clement for their assistance in getting the show posted. Once again, my name is Jonathan Hughes, and this has been The MEFA Podcast.

Thank you.